Sunday, October 7, 2007


One eventful long session is winding up. Like an abandoned warrior, I stand here wounded in the war field deserted and confused. What is next? I tried to retract but I couldn’t. I accepted my break down, but they dragged me in again. Like a red hot funeral pile, a fire ball is burning me into ashes. How do I dispose off that? I am afraid to speak. I can't stand those terrifying dream about City of Graveyards. I hate retaliations. I tried to strike back in the way of truth. But it is not working anymore. Deep sickening silence is everywhere. Can you feel the call of death? Is there a fire storm coming in? I fear I will get engulfed in that. The last glimpse of hope is burned out? Memories are crumbling me in to dust. Trying to keep myself busy, I am dreaming about passing over those dreadful memories for some split seconds.

Whom shall I blame? I wanted to help. But now I am helpless. I gave them my resources. Now I see those in warheads upon me. I recognize those where given in to immature hands. They didn’t recognize why I disclosed them. Why I disclosed them? Was that my signature?

Still I suspect. The battle is over or the fire is there still!!!!

But; I am thinking. In the blood freezing silence thoughts are rising up. What is it? Is that a curse? No I recognize, it is a blessing. The lava inside me is making me stronger; Stronger than ever. I know I am right and I never missed the path. Why am I troubled because the world is diseased? I am not ready to fail and I will never. I am learning. I am learning to walk. My legs won’t tremble anymore. Those red hot fire stones are not hot anymore. Nothing can stop me now. I am the Phoenix…